


Not Supposed To Be Here

by loveandwar007



Category: Star vs. The Forces Of Evil
Genre: Drama, F/M, Family, Friendship/Love, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, post-season 3 finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-05-04 16:04:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14596626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveandwar007/pseuds/loveandwar007
Summary: It's nothing but a void of uncertainty and fear for Mewni's acting queen as the pieces of her life that have always remained in place begin to unravel.





	Not Supposed To Be Here

**Author's Note:**

  * For [reas_of_sunshine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/reas_of_sunshine/gifts), [selenicsoulmates](https://archiveofourown.org/users/selenicsoulmates/gifts).



> A post-finale piece dedicated to my chat fam. Hope you all enjoy.

_Rescue me_

_Show me who I am_

_‘Cause I can’t believe_

_This is how the story ends…_

* * *

Her eyes flew open for what felt like the millionth time that night, and the trillionth time that month. Each time the pit of dread settled in her stomach sooner than before, the reason she hadn’t slept well and might never again. She just wanted to cry it out whenever the time arose. But more often than not, she just couldn’t. Her heart ached terribly, her insides were numb, and yet the sorrow just wouldn’t unleash when she wanted it to.

Star flung the covers aside and stumbled out of bed towards the door. She couldn’t stay there. Everything in that bedroom reminded her of her mother, and not just the framed photos on the desk or the digital ones in her phone. The dresses hanging in her wardrobe were handpicked by her, the cool breeze from the window wrapped around Star like her mother’s embrace, even the very air she breathed was the unmistakable aroma of Moon’s perfume.

The rumor was that the High Commission planned to declare her officially deceased, but Star and her father refused to believe it. Especially Star, who swung herself down staircase after staircase, twisting around several corridors, unsure of where exactly her frenzied feet were taking her and not really caring.

_She was there. She was **right there**. If I hadn’t been so stupid, I could’ve gotten her out of the Magic Realm._

It played over and over in her head like a broken record, the needle skipping every time her feet slapped against the floor.  _Why didn’t I plan it well enough? Why didn’t I know I would outsmart myself? Why was I **so stupid?!**_

With an agonized grunt, Star rammed her elbow against a heavy oak door and forced herself inside. It took a few moments for her eyes to adjust to the darkness, but her insides turned to ice the second the massive tapestries rose before her. The “Grandma Room”. Her very earliest memories were of this room, nestled against her mother’s breast as the queen glided along the wall, pointing to the pictures of the towering women and whispering words the baby princess could not understand. Now that same princess understood far too much, and at the same time felt like she still knew nothing at all.

She found the one she was looking for, hidden in shadow and covered in dust and cobwebs.  _Eclipsa, Queen of Darkness_  read her slab, and Star marched over to it. Had she completely lost all sense of reason, she would have torn the old drapery clean off the wall, respect and tradition be damned. She hadn’t lost it. But she was getting close.

“So you just took off?” Her voice was weak, trembling and strained, and yet it echoed so uncomfortably in the empty domed room. “You got what you wanted, so you just…left? You couldn’t stick around to help me? If it wasn’t for me and my mom, you’d be  _dead.”_

Knowing full well she was not getting an answer, Star ranted on to the steely face with crimson spade emblems in the tapestry. “I get it, your family means a lot to you. You got your second chance. But…what about me?” It wasn’t a question Star asked often, and it sounded so foreign on her tongue. So forbidden, as if she was not allowed to think such things. “I did a lot for you, Eclipsa. I—I’ve done a lot for a  _lotta_  people. But this time, I need something.”

She swallowed hard, sinking to her knees in fatigue from running through the castle half asleep. The cold grey eyes staring down at her still held no response. “My mom is gone. She might be  _gone_  gone. I know I keep telling everyone she isn’t, but what the heck do I know? I’m just acting queen, no big deal, right?” Her bottom lip quivered, and she chomped down on it with her teeth stubbornly. “My magic’s gone. Not totally, but it’s really weak. I don’t even have enough power to go back to the Magic Realm to look for her. All my dreams are just me losing Mom over and over again, and I can’t take it anymore!”

Her fists slammed against the marble floor, pressing her forehead to the harsh cold surface as she crumpled further to the ground. When next she spoke, it was in a voice choked with tears. “I gave you my Wand ‘cause it should be yours. But right now…I’m the one who needs it most. I need my mom, Eclipsa. My family means everything to me, too.”

Curling her legs up to her chest, Star rolled onto her side and buried her face in her knees. Gentle hopeless sobs shuddered through her, echoing softly in the stillness as she resigned herself to the fact that maybe Queen Moon really was never coming back. And maybe she was now the rightful Queen of Mewni. Just the thought of it was enough to make her break down further, copious tears flowing into her light gold hair as she hugged herself tightly.

It wasn’t right, the fact that they were all looking to her to make these big decisions. She was just a kid. Star couldn’t decide the fate of Mewni. Heck, Star couldn’t even decide which boy she liked.

A slight shuffling of feet was the first thing that caught her attention the moment there was a break in her weeping. Sitting up suddenly, she shoved her hair out of her eyes, blinking in the moonlight glowing gently from the overhead skylight. She expected it might be her father, coming to spend some time with his wife’s tapestry, as that was currently all he had left of her. She didn’t expect the person it actually was. Although in retrospect, she should have. Somehow he always managed to turn up at times like this.

“What are you doing here?” Star asked him, struggling through her hitched breaths.

Marco blinked over at her, having settled himself on the floor next to her with his back against the wall. “I…kinda live here now, remember?”

“You know what I mean, Marco. Why are you  _in here?”_

“‘Cause I heard you talking to yourself,” he admitted, his fingers fiddling idly with the zipper on his hoodie.

“I was talking to Eclipsa,” Star insisted.

“Eclipsa’s not here, Star.”

“Well, she’s somewhere,” the princess went on indignantly, swiping roughly at her cheeks as if she were embarrassed about shedding tears in front of Marco. Which was dumb; he had seen her like this before.

“Star,” Marco sighed patiently, “she isn’t here. No one knows where she is. But there’s people you can turn to who  _are_  here.”

“Go back to bed,” she ordered her intruder in a sullen tone.

“I’m not leaving you.” 

_Sweet Mewni._  Why did hearing that tender nasally voice make her believe, even for an instant, that everything was going to be alright? Whatever strange magic it weaved, it seemed to instantly dissolve her rigid front. She hated it, but also couldn’t deny that it felt better to just open herself up.

“I want my mom,” Star muttered through quivering lips, feeling like she was five years old again. “But I botched it up, and now she’s gone forever.”

“Don’t say that, we’ll find her,” he soothed, pushing himself off the wall to move closer to her. Star’s blue eyes shone like orbs, her eyelashes dewed with crystal tears, and her face red and swollen. Marco’s heart ached — he would move every one of the countless dimensions in the cosmos if it meant she would never suffer like this again.

“You can’t make this one better, Marco.” She pushed the heels of her hands against her eyes as she felt another fresh bout of tears come on. “I know you’re trying to help, but we lost this one.” She paused, sniffling loudly. “We lose a lot, don’t we?”

“We don’t always come out on top, that’s for sure,” Marco replied, taking one of her hands in his and hanging on firmly.

“You know…even though Mom was gone, I felt like I could still keep fighting as long as I had you.” Star ran her free hand through her hair and gripped at her scalp, her face crumbling as the tears poured once more. “But I lost you, too.”

“I’m here — I’m right here.” Wrapping his arms around her shuddering frame, Marco held her as closely and tightly as he could, sharing in her pain and grief the only way he knew how.

“Don’t do that again, Marco, just — just don’t leave me, okay?” Curling deeper into his embrace, Star latched onto him and dug her nails into the back of his shirt. Wailing punctured sobs ripped through her, each lifting another weight off her chest and unfurling another knot in her stomach.

“I won’t,” Marco whispered, beginning to rock her in place as he smoothed her hair down. “Just let it out,” he coaxed, hiding his own tears in her hair. “Let it all out, I’ve got you.” All he could do was hold her. She needed this catharsis desperately. She just needed to talk and scream and cry, and he just needed to listen.

“This is why.”

“What?” Star whimpered, raising her head to meet his glimmering brown eyes.

“You asked me why I was here,” Marco clarified. “I’m here to be that person you can always turn to. When things like this happen, I want you to know you never have to face it alone.” Hesitantly, he lifted his hand and brushed a lock of hair away from her damp eyes. “It’s okay. I’ll be the strong one this time if you don’t want to.”

For one brief insane moment, Star wanted to kiss him. But no — that was sleep-deprived, overly emotional Star thinking that, and she squashed her down quickly. Instead she merely fell back against his chest and grabbed onto him like he would float away if she let him go. He quite literally almost had.

“C’mon, let’s get you back to bed,” Marco said, helping her to her feet, which proved difficult when she hung onto his waist so fiercely. “We’ll talk about what we’re gonna do to find your mom in the morning.”

“How?” Star asked as he walked her back out into the corridor, the dense door booming closed behind them. “Marco, I’m totally useless. Most of my magic is gone after the fight with Meteora, and Eclipsa has the Wand now. I couldn’t be Queen of the Dumpster Garbage, let alone Mewni.” She shivered, her head resting on his shoulder as cold tears splattered the front of his hoodie. “I have no idea what’s gonna happen now. And Mom…”

_She’s not supposed to be here. And neither are you._

What in the name of corn did that mean, Moon wasn’t supposed to be there? So where was she supposed to be? Not with her kingdom, nor with her husband and daughter apparently. Maybe not even in the world of the living altogether.

“You’re not useless,” Marco’s warm tone broke through her thoughts, pulling her a bit closer as they trekked slowly up the winding stairs. “You did what you had to do to save your people. You had to make a difficult decision, putting the needs of your kingdom before yourself. Isn’t that what a queen does?”

He looked down at her for any sort of response. But she just cried silently, hugging him like a living breathing stuffed animal while her eyes dripped large tears, puncturing the stillness when they hit the marble at their trudging feet. Marco bit his lip, realizing tonight wasn’t the night for a pep talk, but just a night to let her know he was there, and was always going to be no matter what.

Star was weak, and that scared her more than anything else. She had never felt weak in her life, as long as magic flowed through her veins and a wand was in her hand. Now that she had neither, she felt naked and completely vulnerable to whatever was coming next. She needed her friends, her family, and especially her mother.

But most of all, she needed Marco.

And yet…

“Marco,” Star sighed out, once they reached the stair landing that led to her bed chambers. “I want you to go see your parents.”

Marco blinked. This conversation had taken a surprising turn. “Uh, wh-what?”

“I know your mom’s due any day now. You’re getting a new baby brother.” She pulled away from him, still hanging onto his hands. “Please don’t let me and my problems get in the way of that. You should be happy.”

“Star, your problems are my problems. I care about you just as much as I care about my family.”  _Maybe even more,_  his thoughts concluded, but he sure wasn’t going to say that out loud.

“I know, Marco,” she whispered, cupping her hands around his cheeks. “But that’s where you’re needed right now. If—if I can’t have my mom, you should at least be spending time with yours. Go let her know how much you love her.” That was her head talking, even though everything in her heart was screaming to keep him beside her.

Marco chewed on the inside of his cheek for a moment, then nodded. “If that’s what you want me to do. I’ll be back in a couple days—”

“A week,” Star insisted, cutting him off sharply. “No less than that. That’ll give me enough time to come up with a game plan for when you get back.” Her lips quivered as they spread into a small smile. “And send me pics from the hospital. I need  _something_  to make me smile.”

“Deal,” Marco smiled back, squeezing her hands as they both turned their heads to look at her closed bedroom door. “I just want you to remember something: This title you have, that Wand you carried, and that magic you have inside…you are so much more than all of that. I know ‘cause I’ve seen it every day. And what you are is someone who never  _ever_  gives up. Not on herself, or the people she loves.” A lump rose in his throat, burning as the next words shook in the air, “Please don’t lose sight of who she is. I care about her too much.”

Star’s eyes brimmed once more, flinging her arms around his neck and burying her face in his shoulder. “I’ll try…I’ll try really  _really_  hard, Marco.”

Marco chuckled softly, just for a moment. A ripple of laughter that immediately ceased when a shock of electricity sparked his cheek, his mind blanking senselessly when the sensation of two soft lips pressing there pulled away just as quickly. His heartbeat quickened, and his face flushed — she didn’t just do that. He had to have imagined it, he  _had_  to.

“Your usual chair’s open,” Star said, jerking her head towards her bedroom door.

“A-are you sure?” Marco asked, sounding like he had gotten the wind knocked out of him. “You’re not sleep portalling again, are you?”

“No, but I’m kinda worried about nightmares. So no matter what they tell me, at least I can wake up and know  _you’re_  okay.”

“If…if that’s what you want,” he repeated, this time his mouth so dry it came out more like a wheeze. He felt like he was floating when Star pulled him by the hand through the door, crashing back to reality when his bottom hit the chair seat.

“You stay there,” Star ordered while she climbed back into bed. “Any closer and the guards will haul you outta here and hang you by your toes.”

“I think the guards’ll be the least of my worries,” Marco muttered — and right on cue, Star glanced over at the phone she had not checked since early the night before. Six unread texts from Tom. Why had it not even crossed her mind to give him a call?

“Marco—”

“Star, I told Tom I kissed you.”

She blinked. “You told him  _what?”_

Marco exhaled, “That I kissed you, and I feel horrible about it.”

“Why would you tell him that?” she croaked out in the loudest voice she had exerted since they were in the tapestry room.

“‘Cause we’re friends and he deserves to know the truth, Star,” Marco countered just as loudly.

“Yeah, he does,” Star nodded, her pained eyes locking onto his.

“Okay cool, so we’re on the same page.”

“No Marco, I don’t think we are.” She flung herself onto her side, cocooning herself in the warm woolen blankets. “I guess we’ll just add it to the list of stuff to talk about when you get back.”

“But Star—”

“Goodnight, Marco,” came Star’s irritable muffled voice from the pillows, trying not to get herself worked up into a teary mess again. Sliding her hand under the pillow, her fingers grazed the pointed corners and sleek edges of the photobooth pictures she had snagged before leaving Ruberiot’s wedding. Marco thought he had done the right thing, when in reality he had just made her job in coming clean to Tom a lot harder.

She clutched the photo of the kiss hidden in the fluffed linens. A kiss she had melted into, a kiss she had reciprocated. And Marco hadn’t even noticed. 

_**We**  kissed, Marco._

“Goodnight, Star,” Marco replied quietly. Then he let his gaze drift out to the crisp evening, basking in the light of Mewni’s four gleaming moons. “Goodnight, Queen Moon,” he called out, hoping with everything inside of him that his wish would reach her ears.

Star bit her lip hard at that, swallowing back any urge to sob as her heart swelled with love and sorrow. Another gentle breeze wafted into the room, stroking her face like a mother’s kiss, and her nails clawed at the pillow under her head, the photo now crumpling in her hand.

“Goodnight, Mom,” came her tiny voice like a child’s terrified plea. “Wherever you are…”

* * *

_Fight for me_

_If it’s not too late_

_Help me breathe again_

_No, this can’t be how the story ends…_

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos are great, but comments are better :)


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